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Written by Lauren Snyder
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Thursday, 18 March 2004 |
Hi! I don't have any children who are school-age. So, I can't offer you
direct experience, but I did want to offer some support. My daughter is
still an infant and we are working with Early Intervention on some issues.
After reading your two posts on this issue I just wanted to chime in and
tell you I think you sound very reasonable in your concerns to me. You are
only wanting to do something that is perfectly "allowable" within the
structure of the system. Your son has been through quite a bit, and could
very well "catch up" or test different if these medical concerns weren't
consuming so much. I also think it is wise on your part to avoid as many
labels as possible.
I appreciated your desire to have your son among peers whose behavior would
be inspirational. They could be excellent examples for him. Of course, the
other obvious concern is that he wouldn't be well received by his classmates
and would get frustrated with his inability to perform as his peers.
I just can't help but think back to when I was a child. We moved to Brazil
when I was 7yrs and I was thrown into Portuguese speaking classes - just
like that. No preparation or lessons. I remember getting frustrated at not
being able to communicate in Portuguese as I wanted, but my largest
frustration was my inability to communicate to others that I understood so
much more than they thought I did, I just couldn't always put the proper
words together. Within a year or so I was fluent.
I know that learning a second language is a different situation, but that
feeling of having understood so much more than I appeared to have understood
stays with me when I think of labeling children and their abilities.
Personally, I'm a strong believer that all child have abilities we don't
understand or expect them to have. Also, a child's environment is extremely
influential. Peers have a lot to offer to each other, and children love to
teach children. Children don't usually see in "labels" until they hear it
through their teachers and parents (But they do notice everything and have
the need to point it out and ask/talk about it).
I wanted you to know that I think you are being completely reasonable and
responsible with your son. Let your coordinator be frustrated. She'll get
over it very quickly especially if you tell her firmly, but with sensitivity
and receptiveness, that you want "such and such" to be done - period. It
fits within their current structure. She should gladly comply. You can offer
up your explanation of why you feel it is best, but really I think an
explanation is optional.
You are your sons advocate. Once you are in the system, have it work FOR
your son - not for every one else's. Others can advocate for their children
as they see fit. The coordinator can run her program as it is structured and
I imagine part of her job role is to work with children and their parents so
they are most served.
Keep up the good work! Hopefully, you feel supported and encouraged to do it
the way you are feeling you should do it.
Sincerely,
Lauren (Mom to Brooke ex26.5wkr; 1yr old - 9 months adjusted)
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Last Updated ( Saturday, 25 March 2006 )
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